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blackswaneventI figured it was time to post a like, final status update since upon checking my email this morning I solved my problem and I figured you guys might want a ~glimpse~ into my adventure so that you understand why there have been so many frantic "OH GOD" posts on my plurk.
To be quite honest this'll probably be my final post about it as I sort of made a vow last year that I wouldn't be dragging my personal stuff all over the internets (or at least put it behind a securely locked "thing")
And so.
Hi. My name's Ramen. I've been couch-surfing for about a year and spent two months living on the street/in shelters. This is not unusual. TBQH in this economy as people say, this is not an inaccurate statement of numerous individuals living conditions. I despise it with every fiber of my being and given that there are twenty five people for every job and I literally have no one else to stay with-the only option has been school.
I have poured, all of my efforts this past month and a half into getting out of my current living situation into one where I have a private room finally because inevitably if you have someone living on your couch you're going to get sick of seeing them. This has followed a pretty consistent pattern of Ramen moves in-everything is fine and dandy-then "LOLNOPE we need you to leave"
I'm pleased at least that this time I have the motivation to do so after being in an amazingly wonderful supportive environment with a parent who was...pretty damn fucking cool despite not being a blood relation or my actual parent. The thing is, I need a room. A private room so that I can start building a life for myself again. Do I appreciate what I have. yep. Do I appreciate the people in my life and the mistakes I made? You betcha, do I finally feel like I had a small amount of like, parental love after three years of "GTFO" and basic abuse? When your friend's mom cries because she has to ask you to leave that's love.
But Oh god do I need a private room for my sanity and the sanity of those around me.
And so I embarked upon a quest to make sure I had all of my FAFSA stuff in order. I filled out all the forms, harassed people with all the questions and was promptly...denied.
See once upon a time I had a shitty childhood like a lot of people only I was honestly a lazy and ridiculous person who had no idea about anything and slacked my way off through school before my parents were like lolnope.jpg about basically everything so this ready-source of income was suddenly denied because:
I had too many drops.
I had below a cumulative 2.0 GPA.
Things that affected my drops: Being in-treatment for bipolar disorder and having to deal with a hostile environment which basically makes everything worse.
That hostile environment.
Did I mention hostile environment?
Honestly? I deserved a lot of it. I took some things on that I shouldn't have and like, didn't pull back when I needed to and if hindsight were twenty-twenty every time I looked back on my past I'd make forty bucks or something. There's a good chunk of it that I did not deserve-like sleeping in my dad's garage and having him lock me out at night (or having him lock my friends and I out-or in one memorable instance locking my FRIEND IN with the toilet and other essentials and me out.)
TL;DR fathers suck.
But I could have been better focused and I could have known my limits and how to treat people better. I like to think I do now? But it's better for all concerned if I have my own room and my own computer and my own things and I have...so much more appreciation for it then I did. I've grown up, a lot.
Except in regards to this FAFSA thing because I have a paralyzing fear of living in a shelter again. I was robbed in a shelter. I was mugged outside a shelter. I don't like shelters. I want a room and I deserve a room and realizing how I nearly shot my own foot off broke me something ridiculously.
So I worked my ass off making sure that they had every single document. I arranged for two copies of my transcript to be sent to the school just in case they didn't get it electronically. When I made a mistake on my application and I needed a non-enrollment letter I had three people fax the request to the school that I mistakenly said that I had gone to. They got all the paperwork and ~
Denied.
Seriously looking down the ass of being back on the street and taking a major step backward I flipped out, and nearly ended up in a shelter and had to wait til eight o'clock at night at the school to go back here.
Derp.
So I kept on working, completely lost track of other commitments like my job search (which is state required) and my mental health (which...I need to actually call them about) and focused entirely on FAFSA and worrying about it.
Monday I was hospitalized with a gastro-intestinal bug. The thing is, Orange County is hilarious. Like they literally put me through a battery of tests, made me drink awful things and injected iodine into my system, and then "Yes that's right your organs have all failed surprise! in addition to being homeless without a really solid family support structure worrying that you've offended all of your friends and therefore will die friendless and alone you are going to die and we will have to remove all of your organs."
I broke, so damn bad. Only to find out at the end of the day that it's just a stomach flu which I knew it was.
Driven, I took a day off to recooperate at the behest of everyone ever, went to the school and calmly, rationally, explained that their ridiculous standards, the ridiculous standards of the US educational system, and the ridiculous standards of American Society were literally driving me crazy and if they throw me a bone I will go away and I will be so good that I will stay and clean the whole school and if the instructor asks me for laps around the campus I will jog until my legs fall off.
They put me on a warning. And checking my email this morning this is what I received.
A satisfactory academic progress review of your student financial aid file has been completed. At this time you did not attempt the required units or maintain a cumulative grade point average of 2.0 or higher for Fall 2011 award year at OCC or your combined totals from all colleges and/or universities that you have attended. Please refer to the Satisfactory Academic Progress Policy that is included at the end of the letter.
You have been placed on student financial aid warning. You will receive student financial aid funds during the probationary period provided your eligibility status is unchanged.
Satisfactory Academic Progress has three phases:
At the end of each payment period (semester), satisfactory academic progress checks will be completed for all financial aid students. The following notifications will be used:
Translation: I need to man the fuck up and do all of my homework and get As on everything.
As evidenced here.
Your warning period is for Spring 2012 and you must complete the following:
-- Complete the units that you have enrolled for Spring 2012 - no withdrawals, incompletes, no pass or in progress grades
-- Complete the units with a cumulative GPA of 2.0 and a semester GPA of 2.0
So far I dropped the classes that I can't attend due to time (I need one more class/two more 1.5 unit classes and I should be covered)
The orientation is on Tuesday and while they are all full up, I figure that if I leave class right after I attend, I will simply sit with a book and demand to be let in. And then I can stay with someone who I'm rooming with and pay them when the funds are dispersed.
TL;DR...The long nightmare might finally be over.
To be quite honest this'll probably be my final post about it as I sort of made a vow last year that I wouldn't be dragging my personal stuff all over the internets (or at least put it behind a securely locked "thing")
And so.
Hi. My name's Ramen. I've been couch-surfing for about a year and spent two months living on the street/in shelters. This is not unusual. TBQH in this economy as people say, this is not an inaccurate statement of numerous individuals living conditions. I despise it with every fiber of my being and given that there are twenty five people for every job and I literally have no one else to stay with-the only option has been school.
I have poured, all of my efforts this past month and a half into getting out of my current living situation into one where I have a private room finally because inevitably if you have someone living on your couch you're going to get sick of seeing them. This has followed a pretty consistent pattern of Ramen moves in-everything is fine and dandy-then "LOLNOPE we need you to leave"
I'm pleased at least that this time I have the motivation to do so after being in an amazingly wonderful supportive environment with a parent who was...pretty damn fucking cool despite not being a blood relation or my actual parent. The thing is, I need a room. A private room so that I can start building a life for myself again. Do I appreciate what I have. yep. Do I appreciate the people in my life and the mistakes I made? You betcha, do I finally feel like I had a small amount of like, parental love after three years of "GTFO" and basic abuse? When your friend's mom cries because she has to ask you to leave that's love.
But Oh god do I need a private room for my sanity and the sanity of those around me.
And so I embarked upon a quest to make sure I had all of my FAFSA stuff in order. I filled out all the forms, harassed people with all the questions and was promptly...denied.
See once upon a time I had a shitty childhood like a lot of people only I was honestly a lazy and ridiculous person who had no idea about anything and slacked my way off through school before my parents were like lolnope.jpg about basically everything so this ready-source of income was suddenly denied because:
I had too many drops.
I had below a cumulative 2.0 GPA.
Things that affected my drops: Being in-treatment for bipolar disorder and having to deal with a hostile environment which basically makes everything worse.
That hostile environment.
Did I mention hostile environment?
Honestly? I deserved a lot of it. I took some things on that I shouldn't have and like, didn't pull back when I needed to and if hindsight were twenty-twenty every time I looked back on my past I'd make forty bucks or something. There's a good chunk of it that I did not deserve-like sleeping in my dad's garage and having him lock me out at night (or having him lock my friends and I out-or in one memorable instance locking my FRIEND IN with the toilet and other essentials and me out.)
TL;DR fathers suck.
But I could have been better focused and I could have known my limits and how to treat people better. I like to think I do now? But it's better for all concerned if I have my own room and my own computer and my own things and I have...so much more appreciation for it then I did. I've grown up, a lot.
Except in regards to this FAFSA thing because I have a paralyzing fear of living in a shelter again. I was robbed in a shelter. I was mugged outside a shelter. I don't like shelters. I want a room and I deserve a room and realizing how I nearly shot my own foot off broke me something ridiculously.
So I worked my ass off making sure that they had every single document. I arranged for two copies of my transcript to be sent to the school just in case they didn't get it electronically. When I made a mistake on my application and I needed a non-enrollment letter I had three people fax the request to the school that I mistakenly said that I had gone to. They got all the paperwork and ~
Denied.
Seriously looking down the ass of being back on the street and taking a major step backward I flipped out, and nearly ended up in a shelter and had to wait til eight o'clock at night at the school to go back here.
Derp.
So I kept on working, completely lost track of other commitments like my job search (which is state required) and my mental health (which...I need to actually call them about) and focused entirely on FAFSA and worrying about it.
Monday I was hospitalized with a gastro-intestinal bug. The thing is, Orange County is hilarious. Like they literally put me through a battery of tests, made me drink awful things and injected iodine into my system, and then "Yes that's right your organs have all failed surprise! in addition to being homeless without a really solid family support structure worrying that you've offended all of your friends and therefore will die friendless and alone you are going to die and we will have to remove all of your organs."
I broke, so damn bad. Only to find out at the end of the day that it's just a stomach flu which I knew it was.
Driven, I took a day off to recooperate at the behest of everyone ever, went to the school and calmly, rationally, explained that their ridiculous standards, the ridiculous standards of the US educational system, and the ridiculous standards of American Society were literally driving me crazy and if they throw me a bone I will go away and I will be so good that I will stay and clean the whole school and if the instructor asks me for laps around the campus I will jog until my legs fall off.
They put me on a warning. And checking my email this morning this is what I received.
A satisfactory academic progress review of your student financial aid file has been completed. At this time you did not attempt the required units or maintain a cumulative grade point average of 2.0 or higher for Fall 2011 award year at OCC or your combined totals from all colleges and/or universities that you have attended. Please refer to the Satisfactory Academic Progress Policy that is included at the end of the letter.
You have been placed on student financial aid warning. You will receive student financial aid funds during the probationary period provided your eligibility status is unchanged.
Satisfactory Academic Progress has three phases:
At the end of each payment period (semester), satisfactory academic progress checks will be completed for all financial aid students. The following notifications will be used:
Translation: I need to man the fuck up and do all of my homework and get As on everything.
As evidenced here.
Your warning period is for Spring 2012 and you must complete the following:
-- Complete the units that you have enrolled for Spring 2012 - no withdrawals, incompletes, no pass or in progress grades
-- Complete the units with a cumulative GPA of 2.0 and a semester GPA of 2.0
So far I dropped the classes that I can't attend due to time (I need one more class/two more 1.5 unit classes and I should be covered)
The orientation is on Tuesday and while they are all full up, I figure that if I leave class right after I attend, I will simply sit with a book and demand to be let in. And then I can stay with someone who I'm rooming with and pay them when the funds are dispersed.
TL;DR...The long nightmare might finally be over.
